不得低分！收集写作参考范文真的是参考？不是范文吗？

单丁鹤纷

来历：知乎
文/刘宝彩/天津
这个题目从“2023考试纲领新增样题(英语二)”看，可以得出答案。
Read the following excerpt from an article and write an essay. In your essay, you should explain whether or to what extent you agree with the author. Support your argument with reasons and relevant examples.
Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15points)
2023考试纲领新增样题(英语二)
Studies in the US. and the UK. consistently show that children have lost the right to wander. This is why many of our youth turn to technology. They are not addicted to the computer; they’re addicted to interaction, and being around their friends. Children and especially teenagers, don’t want to only socialize with parents and siblings; they want to play with their peers. That's how they make sense of the world.
And we’ve robbed them of that opportunity. We’re raising our children in captivity and they turn to technology to socialize, learn and relax. Why are we blaming teenagers for computer?
根据上述条件写以下三段英语文
第一段：一些年轻朋友围着桌子坐着，他们各自专注于自己的智妙手机屏幕，相互之间没有交换，餐桌上的美味菜肴也没有动过
第二段：给出“智妙手机”带给我们生活的利弊
第三段：得出结论：要理性的看待“智妙手机”带给我们的虚拟生活。
【参考范文】本文作者写作
Some friends played their own smartphone screens, sitting around a table both where delicious dishes are to serve not to have eaten, and where they are not made to communicate with each other.
Smartphone remains negative about friendship to establish between friends who are talking to them about something more interesting to each other. By comparison with this, Smartphone helps people contact their friends for the information in urgent need, any time, anywhere and anyway. By a smartphone, you would take a taxi arriving at a city conveniently to go where you would. You are allowed to pay money, by Ali-pay app, not in cash if any, for doing some shopping locally. Having been delivered to you by express mail to be dealt with by smartphone, goods are regarded as being good in quality, after purchase. This brings daily-life-living cost not to get increasingly expensive too much.
People are kept comfortable mentally by smartphone to play game and listen to popular music, and pleased by their confidence in China, where people are always friendly towards foreigners going on the really enjoyable trip to interesting and sight-seeing places at leisure time to their delight. They will be successful in communicating their information with other people surely.
Totally speaking, smartphone is regarded as being put to reasonable rationally use, enabling me to save so much troubles. These, I am still convinced that people get out of intentionally their own purpose.
以下【参考范文】网文写作是参考而真的不是范文，也就是说，有待点窜。
As is shown above, siting around a table are some young friends, focusing on their own smartphone screens respectively without communication with each other, with delicious dishes untouched on the table.（本文作者注：是sitting around,而不是siting;是friends who are focusing，而不是friends, focusing）
There is no denying that （本文作者注：此句无需要占用贵重空间）smartphones bring us convenience and efficiency, such as （本文作者注：应是in，不是such as）finding the information we need with one click, getting a taxi through taxi-hailing apps, and communicating immediately with our friends half the world away from us, all of which （本文作者注：应是These，不是, all of which）make our life and work more comfortable（本文作者注：应是convenient to us，不是comfortable） and less laborious（本文作者注：删除为好因画蛇添足）. Nevertheless, some people seem to ignore its negative effects which（本文作者注：为简而明应是By comparison或省略，不是Nevertheless, some people seem to ignore its negative effects which） we cannot shrug off lightly.With virtual life, people feel reluctant to approach others and to concentrate on real life, losing the skill of direct contact and becoming alienated from others.
In conclusion, it is a must to hold a rational attitude toward virtual lives. Only through this can unwanted troubles be reduced to the largest extent possible.
【参考译文】
如上图所示，一些年轻朋友围着桌子坐着，他们各自专注于自己的智妙手机屏幕，相互之间没有交换，餐桌上的美味菜肴也没有动过。
不成否认，智妙手机给我们带来了便当和效力，例如只需点击一下便可以找到我们需要的信息，经过叫车利用法式叫到出租车，以及立即与我们相隔半个地球的朋友交换，一切这些都使我们的生活和工作加倍舒适和轻松（本文作者注：应是便当，不是舒适和轻松）。但是，有些人似乎轻忽了它的负面影响，（本文作者注：应是与此比力，不是“但是，有些人似乎轻忽了它的负面影响”）。我们不能对负面影响轻视。在虚拟生活中，人们不愿意接近他人，不愿意专注于现实生活，落空了间接与人面临面交换的才能，与他人冷淡。
总之，必须对虚拟生活持理性态度。只要这样，才能最大限度地削减不需要的麻烦。
总结：
所说的网文写作【参考范文】之所以说是参考而真的不是范文，是由于有逻辑跳空缺口，这样看来，违反了“英语是逻辑说话，不是模板英语，逻辑是英语的灵魂”之法则的道理。写英语作文，考生可以参考翻开思绪的四种思绪：一因一果；一因多果；多因一果；多因多果。其表达形式：以提醒点的句子为中心，左找缘由，右找成果。是以到达结构完整、论述清楚、细节和过渡适当。
考生在写作中便具有三种才能：㈠分析才能、㈡推理才能、㈢批评才能，会让门生在平常进修中重视立意、构想、成文到点窜，都需要用逻辑性思维的“渗透”，显现出英语现实写作水平，进步自己英语写作才能。为此可以大白了——不得低分！收集写作参考范文真的是参考？不是范文吗——之答案了。

原文地址：https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/597336028
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